The Rights of Father and Men Getting Screwed Out of Child Support

I married a man I've known since I was 17, we've always been each others one true love but life got in the way, we both married others and finally we found each other and were both single and life in that way finally is right and makes sense. My ex NEVER paid me child support. For four children he was ordered to pay 50 dollars a week, 200 dollars a month and still didn't do that. He even claimed my son on his tax return, he didn't live with him, didn't live in the same state and didn't pay support. Yet somehow, he got away with it and the Dept of Rev never helped me a bit.

My husband on the other hand, ended up divorced and dragged through the mud through out the entire thing. His ex had an affiar and wanted out, she set him up for a long time to make him look the bad guy. Their oldest now agrees and knows of the affair and the set up so its not his imagination. They went to counceling during a session they agreed divorce was not an option. Yet within a matter of days he was served his divorce papers, she had it planned, led him to believe things would work out and it was all lies. She even had their oldest totally mis behave, mouth off to the Preachers wife and go through all of his steps of disapline until he spanked her, then turned him in for abuse. The daughter agrees now that she is an adult and out of her mothers home and is not afraid to say so. The ex went thorugh legal aid and he had to hire an attorney which he paid close to $14,000 dollars for. He ended up with nothing. never was given even a chance to speak in court. Of course this was unexpected and he was not in the frame mind to think clearly and expected justice, which he did not get. She was the one having an affair and lying but she of course came out the angel.
Now their two girls are 20 and 19, he's still paying child support for them. The older hasn't lived at home, was kicked out on her 18th bithday, does not even live in Florida any longer. He was ordered to pay nearly $900 a month for 3 children and he lost his job because of the divorce too, when she was making $2400 a month. She never followed the visitations the way they were supposed to be, she was also supposed to have this kids call him twice a week and give them privacy to talk, which she did not do. She would have them call when she knew he was at work and leave him nasty messages. She also told the kids that he never sent cards or letters which was not true, she also told them he never sent his child support. Soon after there was no contact and he couldn't deal with it so he left the state, continued to pay his child support the best he could and moved found a job making $300 a week and paid $205 a week out to child support. He has been trying since 2004 to modify his CS order. A little over a year ago their oldest contacted him and he was thrilled he was getting to have her back in his life and she would tell him about how much his son wanted to know him, the middle daughter didn't want anything to do with him. Actually she called him once after visit and told him crying that she'd done something horrible and could never do it again, she was about 10 at the time, after trying to comfort her and tell her she couldn't have done anything that bad...she told him what she'd done..she had hugged him and told him that she loved him and she could never do that again!! The oldest did tell us last year that the mother forced her to do that.
We went to the Dept of Rev, the local office, they went through his file and saw where he was trying to get this fixed for 5 years. When he filed in 2004 he was told this and that to do, which he did, and got a run around. They then told him his file was destroyed in a flood in the office in the state he lived. Finally in 2007 without any notice, they dropped the Modification. He was at the point he was just beat down. He didn't have computer access and was working all the time to pay his support and to survive.
Their oldest needed a car so she called, talked him into helping her, he couldn't afford it so he took out a loan and sent her the money. She never paid on the car and it was repossesed. So now on top of his child support, we are paying off a loan for a vehicle that she doesn't even have.
Since he has been back in Fl we have been fighting this. Even the lawyers we have asked advice from seem to just say its his fault. One told him is was his fault for doing what the DOR told him. How is someone who is just a regular person supposed to know any better?? They have siezed our bank account, for back support, they tried to take his D.L and Registation on our truck and now they are taking about $200 a month more than the 60% they are allowed to take form his pay check. Two of the children are over 18 and not in school. There is one son left at home. His ex makes far more than he does, she gets food stamps and lives in Gov. housing and collects about 75% of his pay check!! The only adivce we get...Hire and attorney! We are living on an average of $159 a week for bills and food and I have a 14 year old who's father is exempt from support because of a disability.
We contacted the high school the girls went to to find out their last day attended, the records lady told him she couldn't give him any info ...his ex had notes on their file. We sent her the court order that he has a right to the records. She hand typed a letter saying his oldest last day was a certain day, which was not even the right date. She never went to school in 2008 she was actually here with us the day the paper said she was there. This woman sent the paper to his ex, to the courthouse and to the DOR with false information on it! The oldest hadn't lived at home or been in school for months, possibly a year on that date! Now the court is going to assume she was at home and was in school so again he'll get screwed.
Thing is my husband is a great Dad, my oldest is his oldest, so I know this, he's an amazing Grandpa and husband, he's also a great dad to my youngest daughter. He works hard every week, a very had maual labor job. He's a Christian, he believes in God and Justice...loosing faith in the Legal System quickly. We try our best to always do things the right way. We try to help whomever we can, and be the best parents we can be...and this is the mess we get in return.
So I wonder...is there any hope?
I know Florida does this often, I know we are not the only ones. I have a friend that is going through the same thing...only his kids are older!
Does anyone have a clue as to where there is actual help? Not someone just telling us what mistakes he made or not believing him. This is true all of it, its not once sided, its fact.

Teen Girls

Sometimes I wonder if I put to much pressure on my daughter. She is 14 now and in all actuallity I have had very little problems with her. Once in a while she gets a little mouthy and I do mean a little but I tend to compare that "little" to the way her friends talk to their parents or my friends kids talk to them. I tell myself I shouldn't compare and I don't expect perfection but she is so good in other ways it seems getting on to her over a little mouthyness is to much. She's had and has freinds who are having or have had babies already, they party and smoke and drink and sneak out of the house all the time, they lie and don't do their school work. If they are supposed to have chores their parents usually would rather do them for them because they say its easier than making them do what they are told. My daughter does well in school with out pressure from me and she has her chores which she does as well. Now she is a bit of a slob and I constantly have to remind her to turn off lights but besides that she just is good! She will be mouthy or fly off the handle at things and it seems a bit disrespectful and I do get on to her about it but I'm afraid I'm asking for to much sometimes. Sometimes we wont agree on a boy she likes and I tell her so and quite frankly why I don't like them and we may not see eye to eye about it but if I don't allow her to see them, I'm worried I may push her to far. She's got 2 older sisters and 2 older brothers, a lot older so she's seem the horrors of the TEEN years. I had one daughter who ..as I call her..was my child from hell and my youngest says she learned a lot of what she should not do through watching what the family went through because of my middle daughter. She's a good kid and talented, very pretty and funny, well rounded, she's been in homecoming court and on honor roll. She's set her own standards high and I try to make her stick to those but it there a breaking point for all kids..or am I just lucky!